Let’s face it. Try as we may at times we all fall short of the laws set in place for us to follow. Particularly with respect to moral laws as most of them are set up in opposition to human nature or at least in opposition to common impulses we all share. Noble as they may be, upholding them becomes a losing battle when our urges override our self control. But then…we dust ourselves off, get back on the righteous horse, and try again knowing all too well of the certainty that we will surely fall off again. It is with the admission of this inevitability for all of us that I offer a soundtrack to our failure to uphold the 10 most influential laws in western culture. If, like me, the first few laws don’t necessarily apply to your own moral integrity you can still enjoy the sinful music and empathize with the futile effort that is any pursuit of moral perfection.
1. I’m your God…put none before me
Eminem “Stan” found on the album The Marshall Mathers LP
What song better describes pushing everything in the world aside in the name of false worship? And it’s written in first person! All the better for vicariously magnifying whatever your own personal idolatry happens to be.
2. Make no graven images
Tom Waits “Chocolate Jesus” found on the album Mule Variations
“Don’t go to church on Sunday, don’t get on my knees to pray, don’t memorize the books of the
bible, I got my own special way…” and that special way is consuming an image of Jesus made out of chocolate. Tom goes on to explain how he finds his salvation by pouring his melting Jesus over ice cream to make a nice parfait. I suppose deliverance is deliverance any way you can get it.
There is some debate about this commandment and whether or not images of Jesus are allowed, chocolate or otherwise. Though it’s common place in most Christian houses and churches many of the original interpretations of biblical texts expressly prohibit the creation of images of anything found “in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.” Still, I imagine even the more modern churches would hold contempt for eating Jesus…unless it’s for communion. Jeez, religion is confusing.
3. Do not take my name in vain
Modest Mouse “Bukowski” found on the album Good News for People Who Love Bad News
Isaac Brock mentions God in a number of his songs but this one is the most appropriate for commandment number 3 because he takes the lord’s name in vain the same way most of us do…by casually appealing to him at the start of an incredulous or exclamatory statement. Brock repeatedly asks “God, who’d wanna be such an asshole?” This kind of blasphemy is widespread in songs and our everyday life but while those doing the blaspheming are usually addressing God and asking him to damn something or someone thereby giving him credence, this song delivers its sin in passing hardly acknowledging the existence of God at all. And that’s why it takes the cake.
4. Keep the Sabbath holy
Black Sabbath “Black Sabbath” found on the album Black Sabbath
Oh man. No brainer. I mean, the band and the song and the album are called BLACK SABBATH! What more do we need for this to be the soundtrack to watching football or whatever else you do on Sunday while you’re not sitting in church? Not much, but the image of Satan sitting in a crowd of flames while Tony Iommi single handedly invents Metal doesn’t hurt either.
5. Honor thy father and thy mother
Descendants “Parents” found on the album Milo Goes to College
There is little in life more universally relatable to all of us than the “parents just don’t understand .why won’t they get off my case?” phase of adolescence. This is perfectly exemplified by the woefully juvenile grade school lyrics in this Descendants classic.
“Parents! Why won’t they shut up? Parents! They’re so Fucked up!”
6. Do not kill
Johnny Cash “Delia’s Gone” found on the album Murder
Oh there are probably 10 J.C. tracks that would be perfect for this commandment but Delia wins on account of the lack of regret expressed by the narrator. Though he winds up being haunted by Delia in his jail cell after he fills her full of lead the song ends on an indifferent note… “So if your woman is devilish you can let her run or you can bring her down and do her like Delia got done.”
7. Do not commit adultery
Pedro the Lion “Rapture” found on the album Control
I debated whether to use this track to symbolize making forbidden love more than any other track on the list because I wanted everyone to have at least some familiarity with each selection and many people have yet to cozy up with Pedro. Ultimately I decided this track was too perfect not to use. There are plenty of songs about lust, sex, and even cheating on your partner but this song from the opening line “This is how we multiply, pity that it’s not my wife” has the combination of being the smartest, most evocative, and most enjoyable song altogether. Plus, it’s the song that most literally addresses the sin in question.
Bonus point for this song is that the majority of former Pedro the Lion fans who are Christian and no longer listen to him due to moral objections cite this song as the reason they could no longer listen to him. How could this not make the list?
8. Do not steal
Jane’s Addiction “Been Caught Stealing” found on the album Ritual de lo Habitual
This one is too easy. I mean, some things are so obvious because they’re so perfect. Everyone knows this song. The playful rhythm, the downright joyful celebration of theft, and the authenticity brought on by taking one look at Perry Farrell and having no doubt that he was singing from experience.
As cheesy as it may be, we used to keep a copy of this song by the CD player when I worked in the stores to cue up when shoplifters were being escorted out of the building by the police. I’m sure we weren’t the first or the last.
9. Do not bear false witness
Henry Rollins “Liar” found on the album Weight
Another perfect fit. Henry Rollins spends the duration of the track taking disturbing levels of pleasure in conning the song’s unseen protagonist into trusting him over and over again and then berating him/her for falling for his manipulative tricks by proclaiming “I’m a liar! I feel good! I lie!”
Go back and listen to that track again. Better yet, watch the video. Listening to that track for the first time in years I was taken back by how clever, if evil and unsettling, that song really is. I find myself saying “wow, I know that guy! I’ve seen people use these same horrible antics!” it’s scarily accurate.
Man, the climax with the laughing and Rollins screaming “Sucker!” is extra creepy in the video.
10. Do not covet
The Smiths “Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want” found on Hatful of Hollow
Oh Morrissey, why so glum? There’s nothing quite as self loathing and pleasingly pathetic as a sad Smiths song. That’s what makes this particular song about craving what we haven’t got so appropriate. I love this song but Morrissey sounds like a pitiful and feeble dish rag, incapable of gratitude and begging for a hand out. This song is perfect for whimpering in self pity about how nothing ever goes right for you while drearily gazing out the window at a gray and rainy evening.
Come to think of it…in a weird way this song could be sung from a bizarro world Job after God makes that deal with the devil to test Jobs faith and he let’s ol’ red kill his family and all his livestock.
Now, back on the horse! Good luck, friends.
Leave a comment and share your own opinion about what songs you may have chosen for a particular sin!
